I haven’t updated for a wee while. I guess it’s for a number of reasons; primarily the fact that I’ve had some personal stuff weighing me down and I’ve been battling with how much it would be right to talk about on this forum.
As I’ve said before, I don’t want this site to be weighed down with personal angst, I really always envisaged it as a place to record the happy memories and photographs that go along with them. But that said, I know most of the people that read it do so because they care about me and I certainly wouldn’t want to give a false impression of my life.
As many of you know, things between myself and my estranged husband have not been on a particularly amicable level these past few months and as a result of this I took the decision at the beginning of this year to move forward with the divorce as the best mechanism for getting a legally ratified childcare agreement in place. As much as I know this is for the best – my life has really moved on for the better this past year and I certainly don’t hanker over what was (far from it) – it doesn’t make it any easier to go through that process.
This has not been helped by the on-going fragility of my darling Asri. There is nothing more heart wrenching than watching your child rip themselves apart with anxiety and feeling so powerless to help. She has always been a sensitive little thing and it really is difficult to know how much of her anxiety is caused by the separation and how much she would have experienced anyway, but I can’t help but feel partially responsible when she’s in a bad way and I worry about her when she’s not with me.
So there we are… but it’s not all bad! In the middle of all this, I’ve had two great weekends. A lovely snowy one with Darren, in which we went into London to see Clutch and had a tasty meal with Andy and Marina at Mildreds, a veggie restaurant in Soho. The snow had started to come down before we went into the gig but by the time we came out (early owing to the snow) it was coming down in earnest! Luckily for Darren and I, the trains to Reading were running fine and apart from a tromp home through the snow from the station, we were largely unaffected. Poor Andy and Marina had a different experience entirely getting down to Medway, eventually making it home at 4.30am. :0(
Sunday’s plans were thrown off kilter by the snow (we had planned a circular walk out from Sonning Common) but we still managed to pull on our boots and get out for a winter wonderland walk around the lakes and fields of Twyford. I had to borrow Darren’s old camera as mine was at home, but despite it feeling a little weird, I still managed to get some lovely snaps of the white day.
The past week I’ve had my parents staying, which has been lovely. Not only is it undeniably fabulous to have your housework, ironing and cooking done for you :0) but it is also great to have their company. I’ve never been a fan of being alone and it’s nice to have that company when the girls are in bed and the house is quiet! Weekend time with my girls was dominated by dancing lessons and parties… they have a better social life than me! On Sunday, Darren, Alice and Elisa joined us for lunch and a trip to the ever packed Madhouse (for another party that Eleni had been invited to).
And so another weekend beckons… we have a planned pub crawl around Henley with Andy, Marina, Neil and Pam this weekend… I hope the stomach bug that has plagued me the past two days doesn’t interrupt the festivities too much!